5 Different Kinds of Users

At all the companies I’ve worked at, I’ve run into the same types of users. I thought it would be helpful to list them to remind myself how to deal with them. Hopefully this will help those thinking about a career in the IT field as well:

The Computer Virgin

Description: The Computer Virgin is someone who seems to have never even seen a computer before, let alone used one. They will ask you a ton of questions that will seem silly to you, and they will always either precede or end their questions with something along the lines of “I know this is stupid, but..” or “I’m really computer illiterate so…”

Pros: You probably won’t have to think too much while at their desk/on the phone with them. That will give you opportunity to daydream/surf the net/blog/make paper airplanes while talking to them. They usually appreciate your help and think you are really smart. Occasionally they bear gifts and may have your back in case you get into an email argument that they are privy to.

Cons: Once a question of theirs is answered, they will continuously bombard you with questions. Often they will slowly get more and more ludicrous. “Can I print to my printer at work from home? I have the same kind.” “Can I just speak into my computer to type? I’m not good at typing” “I think my mouse pad is broken, can you help me?”

How To Handle: Be friendly, but not too eager because that will give them an opening to ask you everything they’ve ever wanted to know about computers.

Little Mr/Mrs/Ms Junior Tech

Description: One of the more annoying users, Little Mr/Mrs/Ms Junior Tech believes he/she is his/her department’s official tech person. Sometimes this is because they have had a little training in the IT field before realizing that following a career in IT would cause them to die of alcohol poisoning and/or a heart attack at 32. However, sometimes they are just someone who has a computer at home and has done a few upgrades or installs for themselves or friends. They often get asked questions within their own departments and are more than happy to answer. This is dangerous as it only adds to the problem, whether this be their own egos or computer crashes due to an incorrect answer.

Pros: Occasionally will save you time if they know enough to answer small questions here and there. No one wants to take a walk in order to clean a mouse. Plus, they’re more than happy to tell their fellow employees to reboot.

Cons: Often will argue with you if they disagree. Are more than willing to throw around “technical” terms like CPU, CRT when either not appropriate or unnecessary. This breeds confusion in their respective departments. Example: They will refer to their computer/PC/tower as their “CPU”. When you ask someone in their department if they’re having problems with their computer, they say, “No, with my CPU”. They will often answer questions based upon 20% something they’ve heard or read (from a respected source or otherwise) and 80% something they make up on the fly. In case of a disagreement, their department with rally behind them. They are after all, the department’s official tech person.

How To Handle: Delicately. Don’t get into discussions about tech related topics with them. In the event of a disagreement, let the fixed/completed end result speak for itself. Or, if you’re not politely inclined, let them hang themselves. It’s certainly funnier.

The Most Important Person In The Company

Description: This person could hold any position in the company. I’ve run into this user anywhere from a low level part time employee to the CEO of the company. One thing they have in common though, is they absolutely, positively CANNOT be without their computer for FIVE MINUTES because they have VERY IMPORTANT web surfing, online shopping, myspacing, spyware/virus/adware downloading, WORK to do. Need to take their computer back to the data center? Well then WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO UNTIL YOU GET IT FIXED? And God help you if it dies and there is any file loss, because PEOPLE ARE DEPENDING UPON THIS VERY IMPORTANT personal pictures, mp3s, INFORMATION THAT WAS STORED ON THE COMPUTER.

Oh and they always have eBay auctions deadlines that coincidentally end on the very day the problem arises.

Pros: They give you things to cynically and sarcastically email/blog/tell your friends about. Puts more money in Mr. Jack Daniels’ pocket (a pro only if you happen to be Mr Daniels). Or, if you go a different way, you become an expert on beer in a week’s time. Allows for the creation of brand new curse words.

Cons: Liver problems. They will almost always involve their boss or supervisor to let them know that their Very Important Work will not be able to be done because the IT Guy says he has to fix their computer. You will receive an email from their supervisor inquiring as to when you will be finished. It will contain a hint of frustration at YOU for having the nerve to take the time to fix their computer. No matter how little or how long you take to get them up and running again, it will be unacceptable. Tests your self control and could cause dental problems from teeth grinding.

How To Handle: With good humor. They won’t appreciate it, but it will be absolutely necessary for you to keep your sanity and to refrain from taking a Cat 5 cable and strangling the user. For God’s sake, once you have enough information to determine their problem and solution, stop listening to them. Anything else that they say will be superfluous.

The Deleter

Description: Pretty self explanatory. Accidentally deletes files, emails, and anything else he has permissions to. Sends frantic emails to you requiring your help to restore the files and narrowly escape termination.

Pros: Sends absolutely HILARIOUS emails that make him/her seem both high on caffeine and inebriated at the same time. Will simultaneously beg you for help and threaten you. Fun to string along.

Cons: It depends. If you don’t have a backup solution or file restoration software, there is no con. If you do, you had better hope that it works because you’re going to have to restore whatever he deleted. If you don’t have good backups, then the fault switches to YOU and so do the consequences.

How To Handle: Again, it all depends on your backup policies. If you don’t have any, sit back and have some fun. If you do, then pray your backups work.

The Complainer

Description: This user is never happy. If his/her computer isn’t too slow, it’s too loud, too big or too small. If his/her screen isn’t too small, it’s too bright or it hurts their eyes and gives them a headache. The standard mouse isn’t good enough, they want a trackball/optical/wireless mouse. Their keyboard is noisy and stiff. It takes too long to boot up. Why are they getting spam? How come they aren’t allowed to change their wallpaper or listen to music? Why can’t they have an LCD instead of a CRT? Why can’t they have a CRT instead of an LCD? How come so and so’s department got brand new equipment and their’s didn’t? And so on.

Pros: Easily pads your completed trouble ticket totals. You can usually reply “it’s company policy” and it’s another issue closed.

Cons: They never stop no matter what your answer is to them and they always find something else to complain about. No answer is acceptable to them and they tend to sigh or grunt in response to you. The Complainer, more than any other user is contagious. You can literally watch them spread. You can stand at a Complainer’s cubicle while they are complaining about their messy wires and the person next to them will either join in or state a complaint of their very own, which then spreads to the next person and on until infinity. The Complainer is viral.

How To Handle: If possible, avoid or ignore them completely. They may go away on their own. However, this may cause the problem to intensify if they involve their supervisors. Remember, anyone that a Complainer comes into contact with becomes a Complainer themselves. You’re really better off just answering them and hoping against hope they don’t ask you anything further. You’re in a lose-lose situation.